Crochet, I hate you

Sunday night I decided I wanted to learn how to crochet.

I've never, ever knitted or crocheted and decided this could be a new night time hobby. (Anything to keep my fingers moving, so they'll stop transporting snack food to the whole in my head that keeps making me fat.)

I spent hours searching the web and Youtube and after watching this video realized that crocheting is TOTALLY my thing. Busy fingers, repetitive patterns and in the end you get a crocheted Doohicky something-or-other. PERFECTO!!

Monday I popped in to Hobby Lobby and bought my crochet domination supplies. An assortment of hooks and a pretty bundle of yarn. Later that night, I decided I'd give myself a few hours practice before I began the cute hat pattern I'd found.

It only took me an hour to realize, I can absolutely NOT crochet. Not even close. Everything from finding a way to keep the yarn positioned, to the correct tension, to making the stupid little loopy things, and forcing the hook through the right loop... I CAN'T DO IT!

It is the most frustrating thing in the world, to find something I want to do,
but cannot convince my fingers to do correctly.
Knowing I'm BAD at something makes one other thing perfectly clear:

I do not care how long it takes.. I am going to OWN crocheting.
I am going to learn this stupid skill if it kills me.
I will live, eat and breathe crochet.
My crochet hook will be a new appendage.
I will become one with the yarn.

And once I master it, I am going to crochet the hell out of everything I touch.
There are going to be doilies.
Maybe even some scarfs.
And hats, oh yes, there will be hats!

Stay tuned.