(** To clear up any confusion this IS the long version of the story! The story I submitted on the topgear website has been condensed down to the required 1000 characters. **)
I didn’t start driving until I was almost 18. I didn’t start having car accidents until I was almost 18. Coincidence? I think not. “Accidents” may be too strong a word. I liked to call them “Incidents”. My parents liked to call them “Reasons we can’t have you on our insurance policy any more...”
I think back on this year as my “Blue Phase”, as I routinely left samples of my 1990 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera’s powder blue paint job on other cars, lamp posts, garage doors, and the occasional pedestrian. My neighbors think back on this year fondly as “Leslie’s Reign of Terror”. You say tomato, I say WATCH OUT I’M ABOUT TO RUN OVER YOUR MAILBOX!
It didn't help that my poor Cutlass had a blind spot the entire length of the passenger side of the car, since that’s the only side that I ever did damage to. I guess I was a really great judge of distance when turning left, but terribly bad at it when turning right. Hmmm.... I might have done well in NASCAR. Isn’t that really just a organization of guys who turn left really well? I digress.
If I pulled up to a car on my left, they’d look over to their right and see a pretty girl driving a sensible blue car. But, if I pulled up to a car on my right, they’d look over to their left and see a pretty girl driving a chewed up, battle worn, how-is-that-possibly-running, Mad Max inspired vehicle of destruction.
Her Majesty (yes, that’s what I called her) kept me safe for four years. Eventually, as life moved on, I had to leave Her Majesty behind. I’d just gotten engaged, and in the spirit of compromise, I agreed to give her up in favor of a car that featured two undamaged sides.
I'm older now, drive a nicer car and by all accounts have stopped running into things, but there isn’t a day that goes by, (especially when I’m turning to the right), that I don’t still miss her.
I wish I had a better picture than this, but you'll notice it IS taken from the driver side. In fact, I can't actually remember taking ANY pictures of her intentionally. The less evidence the better I thought! (I didn't even take this one...that's me asleep behind the wheel!)
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